Luck Be a Bitch

So I had some free time today and did the logical thing by visiting a psychic. I have a strong feeling I was Judy Garland in my past life and needed conformation from an expert and since Ru Paul wasn’t available I located the next best thing thanks to a quick google search. Well, sure enough Austin has a plethora of qualified professionals. Well to make a short shitting story shorter I was not greeted by Over The Rainbow playing in the back ground whilst entering the establishment but instead told by my new friend she only took cash and not to tell my man (her words by which I presume she meant my husband) about coming to visit her. OK I can go with that. Neiman’s and I have the same agreement. Quid pro quo, I get it. So I take a seat show her my palms and wait for the moment of revelation. The moment passes, and I figure Judy’s aura is so strong this woman is speechless. Turns out miss psychic is everything but speechless and starts explaining that many people are jealous of me (she was supposed to be telling me something I didn’t know) and have dark energy surrounding me. Well, duh, it’s called my credit score but dark energy does sound better now that I think about it. Anyway, apparently I need a psychic cleansing and it’s only going to cost $375 instead of $700, she running a special, lucky me.