I Know Nothing. Really I don’t.

Trigger Warning: shits about to get real.

I am what you would call a radical because I believe all people are equal. I believe all people are entitled to water and food. Crazy. And what really makes me a super-radical unlike Hillary Clinton is I believe men and women are equal regardless of race class religion sexuality or nationality and should be treated accordingly. I really don’t believe that women shouldn’t be able to vote because they’re women or because they want to be doctors. I really don’t believe it’s right that a woman can’t get a mortgage because she’s a woman and I really don’t believe a woman should be forced to have an abortion if she doesn’t want to. Furthermore I really don’t believe that black lesbians can’t talk about women’s issues because they’re lesbians and might cause straight women to catch the homo gene. Long story short I really don’t think its right to say that because a woman thinks differently than me she shouldn’t be allowed to talk about women’s issues viz. feminism. I know it’s fucking crazy right?

Moving forward I suggest the following:

If you’re a White woman you need to take a back seat to feminism and well how should I put it…go fuck yourself.

If you’re a Black woman you need to take a back seat to feminism and well how should I put it…I don’t really thing it’s appropriate for you to talk about not being white.

If you’re an Asian woman  you need to take a back seat to feminism and well how should I put it… you might misappropriate the indigenous cultures of Scandinavia.

If you’re a Hispanic woman you need to take a back seat to feminism and well how should I put it…yo no hablo espanol. After all what language are we going to speak? Anglo English or Castilian Spanish? Oh wait…what about Anglo Canadian women?

If you’re a Muslim woman you need to take a back seat to feminism and well how should I put it….Hijab’s are an apparatus by which patriarchy continues to surpress and restrict female expression.

If you are an indigenous Native American woman you need to take a back seat to feminism and well how should I phrase it…you can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be marginalized in an atheist primarily non female academic setting.

If you are the following: Queer/Straight/Gay/Bisexual/Pansexual/Lesbian/GenderQueer/Cissexual/part-time Lesbian but only on the weekends that sometimes likes to be a unicorn but is totally vegan (raw food only, thank you) because eating dead things is like totally immoral but yah sometimes I like to fuck trans guys/girls wait …I don’t remember if Pat was a tranny or just gender queer or intersex but what the fuck ever because I just love people so fuck you and why do you have to label everything? you cissexist homophobic gender conformist capitalist fuck face you need to take a back seat to feminism and well how should I put it….you might have identity issues.

If you are a cisgendered straight person that likes to have sex with cisgendered female chauvinist pigs that willingly participate in heterosexual socially constructed sex then you need to take a back seat to feminism and well how should I put it…. you are being a willing participant in the downfall of capitalism.

If you are familiar with the names Judith Butler, Michael Foucault, Albert Camas Ayn Rand and/or Socrates then you need to take a back seat feminism and well how should I put it…. You’re obviously a liberal communist that probably went to the following college(s):

  1. Harvard (aka rich white people school, oh wait they let minorities in don’t they?)
  2. Yale (Really? Did you even have to ask?)
  3. Brown (Total Cock Blocks)
  4. Stanford (I can’t decide because I don’t have free will)
  5. MIT (Yet another example of a rich white determinist racist male school)
  6. Berkley (They’re not very socially conscientious people because do they even serve bangers and mash? Because obviously if they don’t then they’re not very minority friendly)

If you believe language isn’t innate and bird embryos are trained to grow wings you need to take a back seat to feminism because how should I put it…you obviously don’t understand science and I will personally fucking cunt punt the next person I hear talking about this shit.

Well I’m glad I cleared things up for everyone with my insightful dynamic enlightening rhetoric. So like I said I really don’t think it’s right to tell women what they should and shouldn’t say or think. Have I made myself clear?